Rambling a bit about relationships…

Yesterday I had a long conversation with a good old friend… she was telling me of the problems she was having and asking for advice… She claimed that I was her unofficial psychologist I just laughed and let her talk about her relationship problems.

Something she said stuck with me because is not the first time someone has said it. “you have the perfect relationship… you have always had luck to find great guys and now you are with you perfect match, how did you do it?”

I laughed… and honestly before my husband I didn’t think myself lucky when it came to relationships in any case I was a mess with no luck at all

But my mind stayed on the comment she made… did I really have good luck with guys?

I knew that one part she did get right I am with my perfect match. I don’t think there is any other guy that accepts me and understands me more than my husband.

In my opinion I believe that I haven’t been unlucky when it comes to dating and relationships. I did date great guys.

But when I think back to a time before my husband only two relationship come to mind.

The one that it was all lust, we all have that one bad boy that we want to turn and make into the perfect man, yet no matter how much chemistry there is, nothing else works.

The one that loved me too much and yet I never could love him back the way he needed to be loved no matter how much I wanted to, we just didn’t have any chemistry.

There were qualities in them that I loved yet we just didn’t fit completely, I used to joke with my best friend back then about how I wish I could take the qualities that I loved in both guys and mix them together into one man, I would be golden lol. Past relationships showed me what I wanted in a man, and yet I wanted more… I wasn’t settling (I think too many woman settle now days).

With my husband well, as I tell my mom and my best friend, He has all the qualities I wanted in a man and then some more, That’s how I knew only mere weeks into our relationship that he was the one for me.

He accepted me for who I was no questions asked, no expectations of changing me and  we have amazing chemistry, those were the most important qualities, but in him i found more than that. He has this drive to protect me, to love me, to please me, to support me and to push me. He knows how to make me smile, and when I am with him I feel like the world consists of  just us.

We have been 5 years together and have a 3 year old, our relationship hasn’t come easy as many believe, we had to fight to be where we are, we had to give up things that were dear to us, and somehow while doing it, not let it destroy us.

I think we had to go thru it all together, to have the strong relationship that we do today…

So when some say that we have the perfect relationship, that our love was easy, I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know what the perfect relationship is, it has never been my goal to have one.

The one thing I know is this; no relationship is easy, they all take work and that as long as there is love there is a reason to fight for it. My advice is to never lose yourself in the name of having a relationship, keep on complementing each other, loving each other and accepting each other. That might just be the way to a successful relationship. Oh and never settle for anything less than your perfect match.

Too much rambling i know.. oh well

Xoxo,

Arlen.

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7 thoughts on “Rambling a bit about relationships…

  1. Really enjoyed reading this post. I often wonder what the ‘perfect’ relationship is as it is so easy to look at others and thing everything is perfect when you don’t see the day to day struggles. Really pleased to hear you’ve met your perfect match in your husband though, that’s lovely 😊 xoxox

  2. Really nice post and well said I believe any women can associate with the struggle. Somehow we all believe other people find their perfect match and at the end of the day we all go through the same struggle to find out perfect match. And very well said no women or man should settle you should always find your true sole.

    1. Thank you for reading! yes sometimes to have a happy ending you have to overcome many obstacles, i wouldn’t change what we went thru for anything cause we have the amazing relationship we do now because of it. 🙂

  3. Isn’t that amazing… How much we fought for relationships in the past that in hindsight never would have worked? Makes me remember why we should fight so hard for the man who is perfect for us, even though (like you said) trying to attain a perfect relationship isn’t possible.
    Thanks for the post!

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